Stress Reaction

Saturday Sky Día Dos

I lost a reader. Just for a day, but still, I found it distressing.

We all put ourselves out there, both with our words and our works, and we hope that people of like mind will find us interesting and skilled enough to come back and visit again. Many of us watch our bloglines numbers and experience that little (or maybe not so little) thrill as our readership increases. What I wasn't prepared for was the sense of unworthiness when I saw that I had lost a reader.

What had I done? Was I not a skilled enough knitter? Too slow with new posts? Boring projects? Was it a matter of (no, no, never this) uninteresting prose? Had I put too much of myself out there, or not enough (a balance I struggle with repeatedly)?!

Or, as is much more likely since I do it myself, was it that someone looked at their bloglines feeds, realized that reading 100 blogs a day is not exactly considered productive by their employer, and deleted a few who's projects or interests didn't exactly jive with their own?

But oh, the doubt!

So, the heat is on. The pressure is building. There will be knitting content shortly, and I need to post a picture of the Saturday Sky (maybe a sunset shot, since right now it's just a cloudless blue sky) (done). In the mean time, I will share with you something that my (sotto voce) nonknitting, nonblogging friend Terrisa sent me.

Hey, she may not be a knitter, but she so gets what stirs our little woolen hearts!

...Melissa. My oldest daughter. In Sophomore English the students received extra credit if the parents wrote a something to tell the teacher about their student. This is what I wrote. It still describes her best.

She Grew

Too fast and so soon.

From little toes and long dark curls, to tight blue jeans and midriff tops.

She grew.

She always liked dressing up, and always liked to play restaurant.

She ran with other girls her age, and tore the knees of jeans.

She grew.

I was afraid, for awhile, that the growing up would be the growing away; and for a time it seemed that way. But I have found a beautiful friend, a lovely young woman with whom I enjoy spending time.

She has a beautiful voice. She sings with abandon and with joy. She takes the gifts of God and brings comfort to the aches of this world.

I watch as she takes in all that the world has to offer and sorts and sifts and mines the gold and the jewels and that which is precious and doesn't let herself be taken in by that which is fake and fading. I cry as her heart breaks and thank God that her dreams never fade.

I am impressed that so often her first thought is not of herself but of others. That she seems not to take her blessings for granted, but instead seeks to bless those she holds close to her heart. She has an endless well of cheerfulness.

She stands now, with the world so large and all the possibilities before her and she does not tremble and seems not to be afraid. She knows who she is and knows where she belongs and at the same time does not profess to know it all.

She grew.

In faith.
In beauty.
In love.
In hope.
In peace.
In wisdom.
In self-control.

In my heart.

She grew.

Don't even say it! I'm late. I'm lost. I'm completely overwhelmed! I am working on a post for (hopefully) tomorrow that will bring you all up to date on the current state of affairs at la casa de la reacción de la tensión. There is even knitting involved!

In the mean time, this really is a Saturday Sky. You just didn't get to enjoy it for twenty-four hours. Kinda looks like fleece, I thought.

Ya'll enjoy the rest of your weekend!!

Saturday Sky Part Four

I know knit bloggers who post come rain, or sleet, or dark of night. Knit bloggers I much admire who not only blog but prodigiously knit through corneal erosions, transcontinental/transatlantic moves, medical school, design school and North American book tours.

So if you want to call me a wiener because I can't knit, spin, blog and quit a job all at the same time, I will humbly accept the sobriquet.

Because quit my job I have, and next to marriage and having children, I think it's probably been one of the biggest decisions I have made in my life. I've been with this same company for twelve years (longer than I've ever been married, come to think of it). I kind of feel like I am leaving family, as well as the position. The only person I won't miss is the Unhappy Woman. She is, in fact, the reason I even started putting out feelers in the first place; one of which hooked a wonderful offer which I couldn't refuse. This of course has made the Unhappy Woman even more unhappy because I am going on to something so much better. And in an odd sort of way, I have her to thank.

Don't you love Karma?

While there hasn't been much knitting going on, what with the quitting and preparing for the new job (not to mention the hell of a sinus infection in which minions of Satan have invaded my right maxillary sinus cavity and are attempting to bore their way out with red hot pokers, and the two huge bruises on each side of my arse from the honkin' antibiotic shots I received the past two days), don't think there hasn't been some fiber therapy to help me through the transition.

The "OMG I just resigned from my job of twelve years, but bigger salary equals more yarn!" fiber therapy! The third and seventh skeins received in trade from Amanda, and as of yet she has nothing to show for it, but she will soon, and I promise to tuck in some extra goodies to make it worth the wait!

The “When I get my life back I am going to make up for some lost spinning time.” fiber therapy! The first two bunches of roving also received from Amanda in trade and the above caveat still applies (and Amanda just rocks my crazy world because she is such a wonderful and patient friend)!

The “What little bit of knitting time I do have I am going to spend knitting with fiber and a pattern I really like.” fiber therapy! (From the “I don't always knit exactly what I want, but that's about the change.” school of knitting)!

And finally, the “I owe some people sock bags, and I have cut them out and will commence with the sewing forthwith.” fiber therapy!