So I have had this whole Goldilocks thing going on with my knitting. I’ve cast on about five socks and it was always something. This one was too big, and this one was too small, and this one was too scratchy, and I began to think that something was amiss. And not just with my knitting.
I’ve been noticing a general dissatisfaction with life as a whole. Maybe it’s the holidays, with the whole mustshop, mustshop, mustshop mantra pounding at my head, or the concern I have that my father told me recently that he just doesn’t "have the spirit” this year. (Ummm, at the risk of making someone jump off a building because I am saying it again: Mom died this year, Dad)!
But I know, deep down, that it’s more than that.
I need a purpose. Not in the physical sense (raising a family and healing the sick meet that need just fine). But in the spiritual sense. My greatest joy in my job is when I connect with someone on an emotional level. When they get that I get where they are coming from. That I have been there and understand in a way that has nothing to do with a textbook.
I'm exploring options on that front, but in the mean time, I’m thinking this sock looks just right!
Collinette Jitterbug in Parrot
Comments (13)
Good to keep all options open and let opportunity walk right in! It's a rough the first year you loose someone close. Take are of yourself and keep things simple!
Hugs
Posted by margene | December 6, 2007 2:58 PM
Posted on December 6, 2007 14:58
How great that you know what makes you happy in your life and work! About the knitting - that is exactly what happens with me and socks. Which explains why I have only one pair completed. :)
Posted by Beth | December 6, 2007 10:23 PM
Posted on December 6, 2007 22:23
I think quite a few people are having what you are talking about. Beth, Pearlicue said she thinks she must've lost her sock knitting mojo. It was over a month when I put one down because it was way too darned small. I just cast on a new one last week. I love the name of this syndrome...it is the Goldilocks syndrome.....nothing wrong with us, it just has to fit just right.
It is nice to see you blogging again. I have been amongst the missing as well, but that doesn't mean we aren't lurking, hmm! From one Leah to another, we will find the right fit, I guess we just have to be patient. Whatever that is.....
Posted by Leah | December 6, 2007 10:24 PM
Posted on December 6, 2007 22:24
The holidays will be very different this year, of course. It sounds like you're stretching yourself and looking for ways to grow and that's always smart.
Posted by Carole | December 7, 2007 5:57 AM
Posted on December 7, 2007 05:57
HI Leah. I so relate to your post. The whole thing. Goldilocks socks and all. Hugs to you.
Posted by Becky | December 7, 2007 6:21 AM
Posted on December 7, 2007 06:21
Yes, this will be a difficult year. I am having a hard time getting to the things that I think I must do - cards for example. I have absolutely no desire to send out happy holiday cards. It's not going to be such a "happy" holiday and I don't want to pretend that it is. Of course, I know I must try for my daughter. I think the secret would be to keep everything as simple as possible, but I haven't figured out how to do that yet. It would be easier if it was just me and I could do whatever I damn well pleased :)!
Hugs, my friend!
Posted by Lisa | December 7, 2007 6:34 AM
Posted on December 7, 2007 06:34
This is a tough time of year just by itself, never mind combined with suffering a loss. Hugs to you Leah.
I think your sock is just right too!
Posted by Karen | December 7, 2007 8:57 AM
Posted on December 7, 2007 08:57
i think your sock looks just right. and seriously, a little dissatisfaction is normal and good. things can't be all rosy and sunshiny all the time. i'm going through a similar pattern of dissatisfaction right now and i sorta' revel in it because i know it'll pass and the other side will be a great upswing.
Posted by amanda | December 7, 2007 12:46 PM
Posted on December 7, 2007 12:46
More hugs to you, and also, it's a great-looking sock.
Posted by katie | December 7, 2007 3:22 PM
Posted on December 7, 2007 15:22
Having a "purpose" (in the big sense of the word) makes such a difference. otherwise, it is just same ol' same ol'. go for it my friend.. you'll find it.
And yes, the holidays will be much different this year for your whole family... I will be holding you with cyber hugs in these rough times.
Posted by Teyani | December 8, 2007 11:28 AM
Posted on December 8, 2007 11:28
I wish I could say it gets easier but it doesn't - my Dad passed the week after Thanksgiving 4 years ago and somehow I always hit a rut in that month between thanksgiving and christmas. I'm always trying to find new ways to bring back the joy into the holidays - wasn't it easier when we were kids? A gingerbread house or some cocoa would have fixed it right up! =)
Your sock is lovely - somehow I new that was colinette before I even saw your caption.
Posted by keri | December 10, 2007 8:50 AM
Posted on December 10, 2007 08:50
I imagine it will be a difficult holiday season for your entire family. You suffered a great loss this year, and that's not something that one can recover from easily. I don't know if things get easier as time goes on, I think things are just different. My grandmother died on Christmas Day seven years ago, and though it's been a while, I still feel blue this time of year, knowing that she's no longer here with us.
I don't know what I'm trying to say, and what I have said probably isn't particularly helpful. What I do know is that I sincerely hope that you find the purpose that you are looking for, and that you and your family are able to get together and have a wonderful holiday in your mother's memory.
Posted by Rachel | December 10, 2007 2:21 PM
Posted on December 10, 2007 14:21
Hang in there. It does hurt less with time. After a while the good memories are stronger than the hurt of not making more.
I love that yarn. What pattern are you using?
Posted by Linda | December 11, 2007 10:16 AM
Posted on December 11, 2007 10:16